Posted on May 29, 2012
Hi. This week has been the one of the toughest so far. Seriously, when will my weeks in school ever been peaceful and smooth sailing?
I got a call from my day saying that my Grandpa passed away this morning, yes right before my last immunology paper. I couldn’t focus at all, all my brain was how badly I’m being a grandchild, how un-filial I could get, how fucking screwed I’m. I broke my promises, all of them. I’ve paid a hefty price for my actions, this is gonna be a life-time regret of mine. I’ve heard about stories about regrets, not putting words into actions, always thinking there will be a next time, always procrastinating. But do I really learn from it? No, I fucking don’t.
I know sorry’s ain’t going to help. But still, I’ve regretted really badly for my actions, Grandpa, I’m sorry. Bring all the pain, unhappiness and grudges away, hope you’re happy and painless and peaceful at wherever you’re right now. I love you.
Have been fighting with the tough nights with v minimal amount of sleep which worsens my body condition, but I’m glad the torture is periodically over and thankfully, I can see a glimpse of hope in the papers. I’m not gonna to complain how miserably regretful for bringing this upon myself. I’m gonna pay for the price for my consequence. My last lap, do it or never. To my friends, let’s go through for the ever last time and after that, seek for what you really want. All of us, have learnt our lesson through this course, don’t ever repeat the same mistake again, you know yourself the best, without passion, nothing is really possible. Big bucks don’t really bring you where you want yourself to be at, big bucks bring you temporary happiness but a lifetime of regrets.
Goodnight.
Posted on May 24, 2012
Hahaha since holidays are like 4 days later, I shall blog what I need to do during the holidays:
1. Dance meetings and camps and practices!
2. Start working in Awfully Chocolate, seriously they are nice enough to let me finish my papers first! :) New job, new environment, new girls!
3. FYP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My plants better be good to me, please please please. I’ve been watering everyday!!! So please don’t fail on me?? :(
4. Bake and whip up something edible!
5. Party?? hahahaha this one must maintain!
Hahaha okay seriously, all this are good enough to keep my world spinning. Who says, you need love to keep you occupied?! LOL ok perhaps I’m just jealous -__- Time checked: 3am and I bloody need to sleep like right now!!!
Posted on May 24, 2012
In need of a good party, drowning myself with alcohol and loud blasting music. Judge what you want.
Posted on May 24, 2012
leilockheart:
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Posted on May 24, 2012
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Posted on May 23, 2012
Was so sick now, feeling like some shit now… And I’ve to complete this essay which is desperately needed to finish as soon as possible so that I can focus on my papers next week. Glad that there’s only 2 heavy modules…. I realized I’m always sick on exams period.. Argh but I can lose weight without dieting.. I think after I come to poly, my weight decreases as compared to the secondary school days LOL. My weight now is like when I was back in Sec 4?? HAHA Good thing you know!!!
Will be back soon! All the best, everyone!
No matter what, I must graduate in 2013.
Posted on May 20, 2012
You know, from young till now, I always yearn to have a complete and happy family. But I know it will never come true. As the years go by, the family ties go more and more strained and this is just like a divorce family just without the divorce papers but worse still, with quarrels every time. And as a child, I do really suffer from it. It’s more than a torment for me. The family ratio is always 3:1. Now worse still, it’s like 2:1:1. Me and my Mum are like the closest in the family now. I can’t help to feel helpless sometimes, really. And I really get influence from the way I think about things. That’s why I get very independent. I don’t usually get over-reliance on people, I’ve a limit for that. And I’ve an expectation for guys, I just can’t stand guys who don’t have their own financial system. Like guys who takes money from girls or expect girls to treat them.. BIG MAJOR TURN OFF. I’m actually very very very scared of guys who are like that.
Even though every family have their problems at home, but they are actually united. They eat together, they shop together, they do things together. I’ve never experienced such stuffs before :( Sometimes, I even hope they get divorce instead, at least I don’t suffer that much anymore? Up till now, even though I’m immune to it, but I still get affected each time. Whenever I see a family doing things together, my heart still wrenched, it still ached. Someone once told me, “You seem to be happy outside, I don’t expect such things from you” But well, what can I do? Cry every time? So, just accept the fact and move on with life.
But whatever it is, at least my family is not in debts, not involved in any affairs and this is the only thing I can seek comfort from. And I really need to thank my Mum for being the breadwinner of this house. No words can express my gratitude towards you, I love you.
Posted on May 19, 2012
Hiiiii
Today was a v inspirational day for me hehe so I was thinking of jotting it down :)
Quotes of the day:
(1) Don’t try to be beautiful/perfect, it will make you ugly instead.
(2) Don’t worship people, everyone’s unique in their own ways.
(3) If this is who you’re, who cares about people’s views on you?!
(4) There’s no perfection, but you can do your best to be perfect.
(5) So be positive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D
I know this are all very cliched wise words that you’ve heard before, but today’s one made things sound even clearer. So everyone, chins up and make yourself happy!!!!!!!! If me, being the most negative and cynical person ever can try, you can too!!! :D
Okay I just did 100 push up’s and many torturous stunts today and gained bruises and blisters LOL. Luckily, dinner just now at my family fav restaurant and it just compensated for everything! :D I enjoy savoring good food with my family hehe
